Create Your Own Digital Legacy Now!
For most people, talking about death is not a comfortable undertaking. So, most of us avoid it as much as possible. There are a ton of reasons to begin talking about death that include coming to grips with our own mortality and improving our relationship to grief. We explore these concepts in more detail below and hope to find a way for our readers to get more adjusted to their own grieving and understanding a bit about the grieving process of others.
Is There a Correct Way to Deal with Death?
As a part of human nature, when we are faced with circumstances that are unfamiliar to us, we can start to question our own thoughts and actions and compare them to what we think should be a ‘normal’ reaction. Because the death of a loved one is not a common occurrence for most of us, this situation usually falls into this category. So, we frequently act like we think we are supposed to instead of doing what feels natural for us.
We strongly believe that during these times of grieving it is important not to worry about what you think an ‘acceptable’ form of talking about death is. Everyone has questions about what to do after a death – and that is normal. But where things start to differ are in the reaction to the death. Some people feel comfortable being open and transparent about their feelings, while others are much more reserved and may not want to outwardly show that they’re dealing with this issue. In addition, others are more focused on the practical steps that need to be taken – like funeral arrangements, financial decisions, or family notification.
However you choose to talk about death, own it! There is no need to be ashamed of what comes naturally to you. If you find yourself having questions you never thought you would have – that’s okay. Do you find yourself wondering what happens to a body after it is buried or cremated? How about whether a voluntary organ donor’s body ever gets used for science as they hoped for? These types of questions are normal and can help you take control of your own fear. The added stress of your imagination filling in blanks for these questions are much worse for your mind to accept. So, speak freely and ask your questions.
Avoid Following Other People’s Grief Expectations
Taking control of your thoughts is a much different concept than taking control of your emotions. Your thoughts can include positive or negative emotions – or both. One of the worst perspectives to have is the old British motto of “Keep calm and carry on” when it comes to dealing with death. Many times, when this method of burying emotion is used, more problems arise later. This could include arguments with loved ones, depression, and even anger.
For some, avoiding difficult family situations can be tough if there has already been an emotional precedent set. The notion of celebrating life instead of mourning is actually very common. But that doesn’t mean it is the right reaction for everyone and each person may go through cycles of celebration and mourning in their own way. If people around you are having a tough time understanding why you are grieving, then take that as an opportunity to shift the perception and start openly talking about death however you see fit. Your feelings are what matter to you at that moment, not theirs!
How Can You Help Your Loved Ones Upon Your Own Death?
Everyone can start to facilitate a more positive grieving process for their loved ones with a simple step: actively planning your own funeral. One of the worst aspects of the mourning process can be making funeral arrangements. This is because it includes dealing with scheduling, paying, and more transaction-based actions – all while trying to mourn and celebrate the life and death of a loved one.
You can give a huge gift upon your passing by simply taking the guesswork out of planning your funeral for ‘what you would have wanted’. Understanding what someone would have wanted is usually the most important and stressful factors for families trying to plan a funeral. Why not make it easy for the people you care about the most? The planning doesn’t have to be done by a funeral director… but you need to write it down so the family can share that plan with them.
Obviously, just having a plan for your funeral doesn’t mean that their grieving will be gone. Like you, they will likely be physically and emotionally exhausted. Anything positive you can give them will be very much appreciated upon your passing. Let’s talk about a few more gifts you can give them.
A New Way to Help Your Loved Ones Grieve After Your Death
Contrary to common discussions, death is not always the worst thing that can happen to a person. But even in the most terrible circumstances surrounding someone’s passing there are now options to help loved ones to grieve. Being open to creating a more positive experience around your own death is the best way to start. We created the ForKeeps app to go beyond just talking about your death (or someone else’s). We hoped to truly give people a way to leave a lasting impact for their loved ones in the form of a digital legacy.
A well planned legacy can include not only funeral planning, but now it can also include gathering images to create your own memorial album, writing letters to people reminding them how much you love them, or recording a video to be delivered to them at a special future date in their lives (like when they get married). These are all great ways to plan as positive and experience upon your death as possible.
It is important to remember that not every death occurs when there are clues it is approaching. Our users treat the ForKeeps app as an additional insurance policy that allows them to save their thoughts now through AfterLife messages and keep them until they need to be sent to their loved ones – just in case they don’t get a chance to say these things to them directly before they pass away.